why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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