i need an iv and a liver transplant
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize