He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
