Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
