I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i think i have two assholes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
