i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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