Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just want nice things and good sex
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
