I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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