I think I won the penis lottery.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
