i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
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I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
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The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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