shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
