I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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