what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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