just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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