Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize