you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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