We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
