just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
