i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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