Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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