He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
