Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Randomize
