Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
