During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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