I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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