There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
