I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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