I think I died a long time ago.
Say something about gay babies.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
