Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
