Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Boobs speak an international language.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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