dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
