I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
