better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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