She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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