Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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