Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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