I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you had me at cake vodka
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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