he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
