There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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