I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
