I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
