The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
