"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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