my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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