so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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