she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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