I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Someone came in the potted fern
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I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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