whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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