Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
