so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
