Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Mom said you looked used
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize