Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
