Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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