Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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