You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
