I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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