Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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