His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
